Matthias: The smoke alarm is beeping. Does that mean it will shoot fire at us?
Gretchen: That's mom's peach spoon that she uses to... stab peaches?
Matthias: Does water defeat spicy things?
Kaitlyn: 23.99. What is that? Cents?
Me: 23 dollars and 99 cents.
Kaitlyn: But I don't have 99 cents!
Me: Do you have 23 dollars?
Kaitlyn: What are dollars?
Me: Money.
Kaitlyn: Oh, the green flappy things?
Matthias: Mom, can we watch a movie? I'm not feeling well.
Me: No. If you're not feeling well go be in your bed.
Matthias: So we don't watch a movie anymore when we're not feeling good?
Me: No.
Matthias: Okay, then I'm feeling good.
Kaitlyn: Mom, I love you more than my special blanky.
Matthias: If I stick my foot in the water a frog might bite me.
Me: I don't think frogs bite.
Matthias: Then why do they have mouths?
Gretchen: If you didn't have a tongue, you'd still be able to say some words but not all of them. Like, you could say, "BaaAaaaAAaaaaAaaa."
Me: ...
Gretchen: Like a sheep.
Matthias, being a doctor: So it's banger then shooter then pokers and then you get your stuff.
Matthias: When I am grown up, I will be bigger than Kaitlyn.
Me, to Kaitlyn: Don't get offended, that's just a fact.
Kaitlyn: I'm not offended. It just means he will die first.
