Theo: If bees eat honey, then do they give it to people?
Me: I guess you could say that.
Theo: Well, that's really nice of them.
Theo: There's a train, but it's not moving.
Me: Sometimes trains just sit.
Theo: Because the people eat ice cream!
Me: ... Of course.
Matthias: It's not winter yet!
Theodore: Actually, it's breakfast.
Theodore, at 3:15 in the morning: Mom! When I die, will I go to California right away?
Me: Will you what?
Theodore: Will I go to California right away?
Me: ... No. You'll go to heaven.
Theodore: Yeah, that place. Will I go right away?
Me: Yes. When are you going to die?
Theodore: Not until I'm bigger than dad. Goodnight.
Kaitlyn: I found our oven!
Gretchen: Good. Put it on top of the microwave and under the sink.
Theodore: I don't close my eyes when I sleep because when I close my eyes I get dreams.
Me: What's wrong with your dreams?
Theodore: They are pee dreams and they trick me.
Theodore uses "none" to mean "zero," which seems like an okay idea until he says, "Mom, I have none pants in my drawer!"
Theodore also uses "humans" instead of "people" as in, "I'm just watching all the other humans do their bowling balls." He sounds a bit like an alien trying to blend in.
Theodore: That's why Matthias and me are the king of burping AND *ba ba bum* pizza!
Theodore: I know why rockets are faster than cars. It's because they have lava on their back and that speed limits them.
Theodore, eating a mystery flavor dum dum: This tastes like bananas and watermelon, but they mixed them together to make honey.
