Grandma: Here's your water.
Gretchen: Well, I would prefer milk.
Kaitlyn, after a rather messy meal of Mexican chicken left her clothes covered in rice that subsequently fell to the floor when she got down: Uh-oh, I peed rice.
Me: You can have four of these little pizza tables, but I'm throwing the rest away.
Gretchen: Sometimes we have pizza tables in the playroom and then they just vanish.
William: Gretchen bumped my nose into the floor.
Me: Gretchen, were you chasing William?
Gretchen: No, we were both running away from Olivia.
William: She was trying to get us.
Justine: So you were being wild?
William: Well, I was just running and then I fell down.
Justine: Did Gretchen trip over you?
William: Um...
Me: Did you trip over William?
Gretchen: Yes.
Me: Did you land on his head?
Gretchen: No, I tripped and fell on the floor on my head.
Justine: Where was William's head?
William: My head was on the floor.
Me: How did you land on William?
Gretchen: We were like an X.
Me: What happened to your face, Olivia?
Bryan: She got scratched.
Gretchen: By a dragon when she was a baby?!
Me: Stop yelling at me, Gretchen.
Gretchen: I'm not yelling at anybody.
Me: You are yelling at everybody.
Gretchen: I'm just yelling at myself.
Olivia: A brother? Well, the next one will be a sister.
Kaitlyn: Be right back! Fias crying!
Gretchen: Why did Grandma and Grandpa's dog die?
Me: He was very old and sick.
Gretchen: When we are sick we die?!
Me: Only when we are very sick. Not the regular kind of sick that little girls get. Mostly he was very old.
Gretchen: Very, very old people die?
Me: Generally, yes.
Gretchen: Unless they eat a lot of spaghetti, and then they don't?
Me: ... I don't know. There haven't been any studies about the effects of eating pasta on death from old age.
Gretchen: Well we read a book once where there was a very old lady and she ate some spaghetti and didn't die.
Me: I'll inform the scientific community.
Gretchen: Daddy, sometimes I be funny.
Bryan: Sometimes you be funny?
Gretchen: Daddy, you are Jillian. *starts laughing* See? Sometimes I am funny!
Gretchen, after eating a KitKat: Daddy, can I touch you?
Bryan: Ye-- *looks at Gretchen's hand* Mmm, no.
Olivia: Daddy, your shirt is broken!
*His shirt had holes in it.*
omg gretchen is funny. she's right.
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