Bonus Post: Sound Bites 26

(We lock the girls in their room until they fall asleep so that Kaitlyn doesn't come out to wander the house.  Consequently, we hear a lot of yells tattling on each other.  The most common one is Gretchen telling us that Kaitlyn is in her bed, followed by a "nevermind" when Kaitlyn anticipates punishment and scampers back to her own bed.  The other night, however, I heard this instead.)
Gretchen: Mommy!  Kaitlyn's in my bed!
Kaitlyn: Nevermind!

Kaitlyn: Where we going?
Me: We're going to... the moon!
Kaitlyn: We not going to the moon, we going to grandpa's house!
Me: Oh, that's right.  I forgot.
Kaitlyn, muttering: The moon's in the sky.  We not going to the moon.  It's not in a house.

Kaitlyn, hitting herself repeatedly in the face: Sun!  Get out my eyes!

Me: No one likes to help you because you don't ever say "thank you."  You complain and say mean things like "that's not what I wanted" or "I don't like it" or "you did it wrong."
Gretchen: I wouldn't say those things if you did it right.

(This happened some time after I taught the girls the pulling-off-your-thumb trick.)
Olivia: Gretchen wants to real take off her thumb.
Me: That would be painful and messy.
Olivia: And there is blood in her thumb, so if she took it off then the blood would fall out.
Gretchen: It would not fall out if we put a bandaid on it.
Olivia: We should not hurt ourselves to put bandaids on.
Gretchen: But I love bandaids.
Olivia: That is not a good reason to do it.

(We have four CDs with various Disney songs on them, but all four have some songs we don't care about.  I got tired of switching CDs all the time, so I made a mix CD of all the good songs and told the girls that we had a new CD.  Kaitlyn only cares about Elsa music right now (since Moana isn't a choice), so we usually start with Let It Go.)
*Let It Go ends and music from a different movie comes on.*
Kaitlyn: I want Elsa.
Me: We're going to listen to some other songs first.  Elsa will come back.
Kaitlyn, crying: I want Elsa.
Me: Welcome to mix CDs.
Olivia: I did not hear any new songs yet.
Me, to Bryan: In all my endeavors, I try to make as many children as unhappy as possible.
Bryan: This might be your best work yet.
Me: I just thought it would be a good way to listen to Elsa AND other music.  And also we don't have to listen to the dumb ones anymore.
Kaitlyn: ELSA!
Bryan: Listen to how happy your children are.
Olivia: Mom!  None of these are new songs!
Bryan: I hope your blog contains some record of the titanic failure that was your mix CD.

Gretchen: How do we spell "while"?
Bryan: W-H-I-L-E
Olivia: How many letters is that?
Bryan: Five.
Gretchen: No, no, how do we spell "wiiiiiilD"?
Bryan: W-I-L-D
Olivia: How many letters is that?
Bryan: Four.
Olivia, after 20 seconds or so of thought: But "wild" has more sounds than "while."
Bryan: Yes, it does.
Olivia: Then how come "while" has more letters?
Bryan: Because English is stupid.

Gretchen, watching commercials: Grandma, I want that!
Gretchen: And that!
Grandma: You want everything.
Gretchen, slightly offended: I don't want everything.
Grandma: You don't?
Gretchen: No.  I just want most of the things.

(Halfway through the night, Kaitlyn came into our room and rather than return her to her own bed, Bryan just moved to the couch and let her sleep in our bed.  This conversation takes place in the living room the following morning.)
Me: Kaitlyn!  Where are your pajamas?
Kaitlyn: Um, I don't know.
Me: I wonder if she wet her bed and that's why she came to sleep with us.
Bryan: Did you pee in your bed?
Kaitlyn: No!  I peed in YOUR bed.
Bryan: In my bed?
Kaitlyn: Yes!
Me: What?  I was right next to her.  Wouldn't I have noticed?
Bryan, checking our bed: She definitely peed in our bed.

Gretchen: Well, I only have ten monies and it costs...
Olivia, in an awed tone: 79.
Gretchen: No, 1 and 2, 3, 4 --
Olivia, in the same tone as before: 12.