Kaitlyn, on a freeway entrance ramp: Oh no, here comes that! I think it's going to bonk our car!
Me: I think we will be okay.
Kaitlyn: There it is! I think I'm going to bonk to it.
Olivia: I neeeed screen time.
Gretchen: When you are a grown-up, will you know how to do it?
Me: I am already a grown-up.
Gretchen: No, I mean when you get to choose when you want to do.
Kaitlyn, to me: I'm mad at you. I'm not going to marry you because you are a mean girl.
Gretchen: If we do not get another baby then we will not have any more brothers and sisters.
Olivia: We will get another baby. I just know it.
Gretchen: I hope it is a girl baby. Or a boy, as long as he's cute.
Gretchen: Kaitlyn, sorry is not a magic word that will make you not get telled on.
Kaitlyn: When I'm feeling blue, I go with Rudy and get in my pool.
Gretchen: Mommy, I've never seen you all dressed up like this. It's like you're a new girl.
Me: Thank you.
Gretchen: Why did you say thank you?
Me: ...I assumed it was a complement.
Olivia: If you say sorry three times then I will not tell on you.
Kaitlyn, to Olivia after Olivia had been gone all day: I am playing with Gretchen and we are doing just fine, we don't need your help.
Gretchen, discussing hair salons: I want my hair styled a new way.
Me: How would you want it?
Gretchen: Can they shave it like a star?
Bryan, taking a bite of a vegan brownie: These aren't brownies, these are lies.
Kaitlyn: Can I go outside and find Jesus and kill him?
**Note -- She's been very interested in Jesus's death recently, particularly the part with the nails.
Gretchen: Do you know how to make little plastic people that we can paint?
Me: Nope.
Gretchen: Do you know how to make real people?
Me: ................................No.
Olivia: No, they did not get married. They just kissed each other because they wanted to.
Me: Do you want warm pizza or cold pizza?
Kaitlyn: Warm pizza. Actually I want hot pizza. But I want it a little cooler. But hot.
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