Gretchen: Grandma didn't give you your birthday. You gave you your birthday. The calendar gave you your birthday.
Kaitlyn: My mouth hurts.
Me: Where does it hurt?
Kaitlyn: *pats neck*
Me: That's your throat.
Kaitlyn: There is fire in my throat.
Kaitlyn: Hello! I'm a princess! My name is Elsa, but I'm not a princess!
Olivia: I'm going from drab to fab!
Kaitlyn, with one eye closed: I shooted a laser beam out of my eye. This eye.
Gretchen: Why did the cookie need to go to the doctor?
Me: Why?
Gretchen: Because it had some crumbs on it!
Me: ...I think you mean "Because it was feeling crummy."
Kaitlyn: Gretchen, let's bonk into each other and see if one of my tooths is loose.
Gretchen: If a shark is hungry and you are swimming around and crash into him then he will swoosh, grab you with his fin and put you in a jar for breakfast. Then he will go look for lunch and when something touches him he will get it with his fin and put it in a jar for lunch.
Kaitlyn: Mommy, when will it be Easterday? Daddy said that on Easter it will be Easterday and we will see the peacocks.
Me: ...The peacocks? What peacocks?
Kaitlyn: The peacocks that we can't touch.
Olivia: What does a cow say? Moo moo. What does a dog say? Woof woof. What does a mom say? You do this! You do this! What does a dad say? Go to bed, go to bed!
Kaitlyn: I am allowed to eat my dinner!
Me: What dinner?
Kaitlyn: My cereal.
Me: That's breakfast, you silly. Why did that make Matthias cry?
Kaitlyn: Well, he was trying to get my lunch.
Kaitlyn, upon waking up in the morning: I think my hair is styled like Anna's (from Frozen) when she is in bed.
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