Theodore: If there's a loud noise up in the sky and there's smoke on us, I need to get a pillow.
Gretchen: Twix breath is the one kind of breath I want to have.
Theodore: Kaitlyn cutted my nails, because they were tall. On my foots and on my arms my nails were tall.
Me: Do you think it's beautiful?
Theodore: No, because it's for a girl.
Me: How do you know it's for a girl?
Theodore: It's for Aunt Jacque, and she's a girl.
Me: What if I told you it's for Uncle Will?
Theodore: Well, Uncle Will has a mother, so it's still for a girl.
Matthias calls this symbol [ ! ] a yikes.
Theodore calls this letter [ X ] an oops.
Theodore calls tall buildings (pretty much anything bigger than a house) "scrapeskyers."
Theodore: When I was running the race that I winned, I was saying quietly to myself, "You can do this Theo."
Theodore, pointing out the door at the FedEx truck: Treasure!
Matthias: What's for dessert?
Justine: Buckeyes.
Matthias: But Buckeyes are people! We can't eat people!
Theodore: Dad, how old are you?
Bryan: 37.
Theodore: How old is mom?
Bryan: 36.
Theodore: Is 37 bigger than 36?
Bryan: Yes.
Theodore: Then 36 is skinnier than 37!
Bryan: ...Yes.
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